Bang!
‘What the blinkin’ ‘eck woz that?’ Terry said as an almighty crash disturbed his wonderful singing. He turned to see a cloud of acrid smoke billowing above the treetops in the distance.
‘Bloomin’ ‘eck. Best go see wotz gone on over there, I s’pose.’
He picked up his sack and headed off towards the smoke, leaving the firewood he was collecting on the floor.
His feet crunched through the freshly fallen snow as he made his way through the dense undergrowth of the woods, causing him to chuckle as it tickled his bare feet.
He pushed his way through the trees and soon heard rustling ahead of him. Moments later his ears were filled with the sound of a deep booming voice.
‘Yes yes yes alright!… no, it’s not my fault, it’s yours… yes, it is… well, you started it… yes you did. You let one off and it went right up my nose. That’s the last time you have cabbage for tea,’ the voice said.
Terry moved towards a large pine tree, keeping low so he wouldn’t be spotted. He reached the tree and peeked around to see what was going on. Who on earth would be in the woods talking to themselves, especially at this time of night? Terry edged out from behind the tree. No matter how careful he tried to be in making as little noise as possible, the snow made the loudest crunching sound with each step.
There was another tree a few feet in front of him. He took one more step and jumped towards it. Unfortunately, he nudged the tree and a lump of snow fell from the branches above his head and covered him. It went right down the back of his garb, sending him into a cold spasm. He tried his hardest to keep quiet, but as he concentrated on not screaming, a little puff escaped his bottom. It came out so quick that he thought he was going to end up with a Christmas log nestled in his pants, but luckily he didn’t.
As the coldness eased, he peeked around the tree and spotted someone sitting on a stump. Terry couldn’t see who it was because the figure had his back to him. All Terry could see was a white shirt, the top of which was covered by curly, white hair that lay gently across broad shoulders. It seemed like he was talking to someone. Terry couldn’t see who it was, so he edged even closer. The snow continued to crunch, no matter how careful he was in trying to remain silent. So, the silly Knocker came up with a brain-wave. He thought it would be quieter if he lay on his belly and pulled himself through the snow. However, this would prove to be a bad idea. Terry eased himself down, and as he pulled himself forward the icy flakes crept inside his top, and the front of his trousers.
